The Slug is Crushed

Today, my girlfriend–ex-girlfriend, I suppose–came by to pick up her things. I had held out hope that, as long as she had things here, she was entertaining perhaps coming back and giving herself a possible way out, but these hopes are dashed. I thought the longer that she left her things here, the more she would consider coming back, but this comes after her moving out Saturday, so she’s done here.

She took the slow-cooker pot (a really nice one) and, as most of the cookware was hers, that as well.

It is demoralizing to think that our relationship of 4.5 years may not weather this storm and that she has decided to move on after such a short time. My plans for today include sleeping as much as possible and drinking water. I just don’t feel up to working out. Or eating. Or being conscious.

I could forgive her still, and we could move on together still, but it looks like she’ll be moving down this road for at least a six-month span. Every month that passes is another month I will have to reflect on what happened, and to reflect on the fact that this behavior would eat away at our future life together, as I’d never know if she would do this again. I don’t want to dislike her, and I don’t dislike her, but I am thoroughly disappointed in her. She put her own desires ahead of our relationship and ahead of the fact that she knew I would be immeasurably hurt, and proceeded. And then told me she would proceed that way again and again and again as she liked, because it felt good.

I feel crushed.

Probably no work-out today. There are lots of hours left, but I just don’t see it happening.

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